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Last Updated: 2 Apr 2018 - 8:45:17 PM |
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| Gerard Cromwell |
On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me a cartridge for a BB. (Bottom bracket!) Handy thing to have during the winter! You never do know when that bottom bracket might seize up, what with all that water and grit about. Anyway, you try and think of something that rhymes with a partridge in a pear tree!
On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me two thermal gloves, (no more frozen finger-tips on those long, cold winter training spins), and a cartridge for a BB.
On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me three French pens. I knew they were French because they have Cofidis down the side. Must have got them at the team launch or something. Still, they'll do for filling in the old training diary. Oh yeah, two more thermal gloves and a cartridge for a BB.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me 40,000 words. Actually it was The Ras, Ireland's Unique Bike Race, by Tom Daly and no, I haven't counted all the words but there's a lot and it's a great read to boot. I got three more French pens, (this time they had Ag2r on the side), two thermal gloves and a cartridge for a BB.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me five new ch-a-i-n-rings. (A 53, 52, 51, 45, 42 and a 39 if you must know), 40,000 words, three French pens (Brioches Le Boulangere), two thermal gloves and a cartridge for a BB.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me six geese-a-laying. Don't really know why she sent them but hey, maybe she couldn't think of anything to do with cycling that rhymed either! Suppose the eggs will come in handy for those pre-race meals anyway. Five more chainrings, 40,000 words, three more French pens (Jean DeLetour), two thermal gloves and cartridge for a BB arrived. The spare room is filling up fairly rapidly now and I'm not really sure about having those geese in the house!
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me seven pills for slimming. I knew I was finding it hard to get up the hills, but I just thought it was early days yet. Oh well, I'll try one tomorrow before my poached geese eggs. I got another six geese-a-laying, five chainrings, 40,000 words, three French pens (Credit Agricole), two thermal gloves (I now have a pair for every day of the week) and a cartridge for a BB.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me eight bottles for drinking, seven pills for slimming, six geese-a-laying, five ch-a-in-rings, 40,000 words, three French pens (VC La Pomme), two thermal gloves and a cartridge for a BB.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me nine pumps for pumping. I now have more pumps than I have wheels. The eight bottles for drinking, seven pills for slimming, six geese-a-laying, five more chainrings, 40,000 words, three French pens (Credit Lyonnaise), two thermal gloves and another cartridge for a BB are taking up a good bit of room in the house. I had to move the geese into the back garden after they ate through two copies of the Ras book. Still, the eggs taste nice and they're a lot bigger than your average, ordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill, ho-hum chicken's egg.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me ten bikers biking. Now, I know it's good to have mates at your beck and call to go training with but where the hell are they all going to live and one of them is already giving out that he hasn't got a pump!
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me eleven ladies dancing. See, the trouble with not adhering strictly to the cycling orientated theme is that it just takes one thing to go wrong for the whole lot to fall apart. The eleven ladies dancing have already begun fighting over the seven pills for slimming and the ten bikers biking haven't biked since they arrived. They say it's too cold out and they prefer to watch the ladies dance. Since the ladies arrived I can't find any of my thermal gloves. The geese are beginning to crack me up with all that cackling. It's looking like goose for Christmas dinner this year!
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me twelve pulsomoters bleeping, eleven ladies dancing, ten bikers biking, nine pumps for pumping, eight bottles for drinking, seven pills for slimming, (which were gobbled up by the first seven of the dancing ladies to reach the front door this morning!), six more geese-a-laying. I'm getting a bit sick of eggs now and wouldn't mind a pancake breakfast out of McDonalds. Five more chainrings! I mean come on! even Desperate Dan wouldn't break that many chainrings! 40,000 words, (I had to use the last three issues to protect my good wooden floor from those foul geese. Maybe that should be those geese fowl. I don't know anymore, I can't concentrate with all those pulsomoters going off. I think one of them is bleeping from inside a goose! Nearly forgot three more French pens (Bonjour), two thermal gloves (I still haven't found the rest of them) and a cartridge for a BB. Today I'm gonna ride through the sand down the beach for an hour. Those damn bottom bracket cartridges are filling up my cupboards!!!
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